Long time no write, guys. I’m really sorry.

I can’t say anything that’ll really not make you disappointed, but here goes.

As some of you might now or realized, I was in nursing school. I’ve graduated and now I have to pass the NCLEX examination to get my license.

I’ve tried twice now. I failed both times. I am on my third attempt. This exam ‘locks’ you out for 3 months every time you fail, and the first try costs $400; any re-exams are about $320. As you can see, I’ve already spent $720 on this exam, not including reviews and study material. I’m gonna spend another $320 here in a month, meaning I’ve spent $1040 on this exam just to get a fucking license.

It’s been difficult. I’ve been a disappointment to myself and my family. Writing has been on the wayside, even though I still love it. Not to mention fandom crap and BLARGH.

Anyway, I know its all excuses. ~.~ And I’m sorry. It’s all I can offer.

I do want to finishes these stories but right now? RL and my own inspiration aren’t working with me to do it.

However if you don’t want to want for me, you are free to email me at [email protected] and ask about any fic you would like to know the resolution of. I can give you a summary of the events meant to happen and the ending if you would like closure. Please put the fic title in the subject so if it goes to junk mail I can retrieve it easily.

Thank you ALL for reading and reviewing my works in the past. I appreciate you all and I’m sorry I was just another disappointment ; ;

 
It's been a while since I've done this or any other sort of update… but fuck me I finally had to get the time to do something like this. It's been grating my nerves since I returned to the writing some years ago and have been getting involved in online communities.

Surprise folks. Kid roleplays.

I've been roleplaying for years to be honest. If there is a roleplay server on my current MMORPG obsession I've always made a character on it. Sometimes I make alts on NON-RP servers just to fuck around and RP on. Sometimes it's just me and a couple friends running around doing weird shit and RPing.

And yeah. I will RP outside the MMO too. I like interactive creative writing and that's the basis of RP. It's a creative literature based pastime. Typically my RP outside my MMOs tend to be fandom-central.

Why did I bring that up? Cause it's gonna be basis of this rant.

Sure, it can apply to anything, and by god take it to apply to anything. So, you ready readers? Cause here I go.

Any fandom you go into you're gonna find that people like to make original characters. Sometimes you'll find people with original characters that are pretty damn cool—like you wonder, why aren't you doing original writing? Cause their use of characterization and such is really awesome and you're amazed. Even if it's a RP or even a fanfic, the original character in it has interest and intrigue. (Although in the case of fanfic, even I'll typically more oft than not hit the back button if the OC is a Mary Sue shoved up to rival the actual canon characters. This is mostly an RP thing.)

A buddy o' mine addressed this before but I'm gonna go into massive, ranty detail. And because it's a rant I'm gonna tear it apart and not give a fuck. One thing about the Megaman fandom, especially if you branch out into the Zero/ZX series, is there's a lot of OCs. And you know, given how easily it is to introduce OCs into a series like ZX, it kinda makes sense.

The problem is most people shit out the most horrible fucking characters. For the most part, 40% of the OCs fall into 'recolors' or rip offs of canon characters. I mean even before ZX series came into fucking existence, even way back almost eleven fucking years ago there were soooo many fucking "Zero MK III" or some such bullshit.

"LOLOLOL ZERO IZ SO FUCKING COOL SO BEING A REMAKE CLONE CHILD OF HIM MAKES MY OC AUTO-AMAZING!"

No.

That's not how it works. You know why Zero's amazing? He's a fucking canon character. Guess what? Canon characters, especially main ones that reoccur in a series, are typically always fucking cooler than anything you pull out of your anal orifice.

You know in school, like middle school even, when you copy someone and everyone knows it and they snicker behind your back at you and some people straight up call you a poser?

Yeah. You're doing it again.

I don't even get why so many people fucking wanna copy Zero anyway. Oh sure, he's the badass darkhorse anti-hero-thinking long-haired sword-wielding ends-up-using-every-fucking-weapon-imaginable pretty-boy pet-of-his-creator cold-exterior-lukewarm-interior questionable-sexuality androgynous guy. That's cool. That works… for him.

Guess what? You aren't Keiji Inafune. He beat you to it. All of you fucking Zero remakes… and worse of all, you Omega remakes… learn some fucking creativity. Your "MK II"s or clones or JACKED UP FUCKING "CHILDREN" Zero-wannabes need to just be redone. That is the most retarded fucking backstory you could give an OC that's supposed to exist in the same fandom. It's a copout! That's what it is—I don't care if you think you're so goddamn cool or your character is so goddamn amazing. He or she isn't, you aren't, you need to get out of your asshole and if you're gonna make an OC for a fandom you need to make one that fits logically.

Okay sure. People do it for fun. Who am I to rain on your parade? I'm just some hick bitch from Florida's wanna-be boony countryside. Ranting rage aside, you can do what you damn well please.

But when you seriously have this goddamn ego complex where you actually think your OC is more awesome than the canon character YOU FUCKING RIPPED OFF YOU CAN GO TO CREATIVE WRITING HELL.

"Oh but s/he may be a copy/clone/child-thing but s/he has so much development and personality you can't tell!"

Fuck you.

You can tell. You can tell it's so fucking obvious, especially because half these retarded OCs actually interact with who their cloned with. 75% of the time they fight and the OC somehow wins cause LOL I R IMPROVED CLONE U R INFERIOR ORIGINAL cause they recall the Zero vs Omega fight where technically the copy won over the original.

That was a Crowning Moment of Awesome for the Zero series.

You just fucking ruined it. You asshole.

There's a reason OC stands for "original character." Original. Original. Original. Original. ORIGINAL GODDAMN YOU.

So that's that subject.

You know what I really wanna touch base on before I move on to more OC stuff? I wanna touch base on how people perceive the canon characters themselves. While I understand some people are gonna brush me off immediately cause I write yaoi, hear me out. I'll be a little less angry for this part.

This is more for fanfics/fan art than it is RP. But when you stretch your creative arm and write/draw these canon characters, anything you do is pretty much fanon. You can rant and rave that Zero or X are gay or not, Zero is some goof off the work clock, X can't cut loose or even think impure things; that Zero and Iris were the most wonderful heartwarming couple or not or Alia and X had a thing… and nothing you say is a reflection of true canon.

It's all story and character interpretation basically. And you know what, that's cool, guys.

What makes a fanfic awesome or amazing, or a fanart that much better, is that what the canon characters are doing/saying is logical for what they've shown in game. When you have a scene where X rushes off to kick Maverick butt after they hurt some humans, it's cool, cause that's totally logical for him to do. It's when people depict him doing things that aren't logical at all for his shown character that makes it horrible.

You can say yaoi is an indication of this. Honestly? You could replace 'Zero' for your favorite heroine and X would probably do the same basic things. Love's love folks. Let's get that out of the way.

Het or yaoi, though, I've seen this bad characterization of characters a lot. Hell I've done it too, mostly in jest. But some people make it serious and suddenly think its canon?

Guys, just because Zero is a long haired bishie boy doesn't mean he's all about womanizing. He isn't going to go up to Iris or Layer and grab their boobs or make crude jokes about their assists. He isn't going to do the homosexual opposite with Axl or X either. While sometimes the games lack exploring it, there really is depth to these characters. Just because X saves the world eight times doesn't mean he's a total workaholic who doesn't know better. Yes, there's a bit of naivety in X. That's a trait. But he isn't fucking stupid or retarded, helpless or a child.

What bothers me about 90% of fanfics, especially yaoi, is that most people depict X as this rape-bait helpless person. That even if he's basically the strongest being alive, people try to give him these weaknesses that just don't really work out. Yes he has a guilty conscious. That doesn't mean he's gonna bend over and take it up the ass while crying and sobbing and isn't even held down.

Be logical guys. Actually look at the canon character you're writing about, learn about them, and write/draw appropriately. It really makes awesome things. It's fun to explore AU possibilities and stuff, don't get me wrong. Some AU stuff can be really fucking cool. But accept it as AU. Your "headcanon" or fanon is just that.

And quit making fucking furries. And clones. And illegitimate children.

Think of the message you're sending, Jesus.

So moving on, back to OC things. And thus, back to anger. I wanna go on to something that personally peeves me.

Like I said, I RP. Sometimes, I RP characters I perceive as powerful. There's different types of power, mind you, and typically whoever outsmarts the enemy wins regardless of power. You can have vast power differences (say, a regular 'combat' Reploid vs a Mega Man) and the 'weaker' can still win simply because they played smartly.

But so many people make OCs with these vast massive powers, or illogical training/battle knowledge, or combine the two and make them basically gods compare to canons. And these are the OCs I have issues with.

Like, sometimes OCs are that awesome. They got something to them that people can't beat til they learn the pattern. That's typical, really. But, and this is kinda more out the RP and more in the sprite "comics" or whatever I see everywhere, OCs have these unnatural, unfitting powers or talents. And 90% of the time, it makes them better than the canons.

I get you want your OC to be awesome. You want something to make them stand out. But overpowering canons for your ego appeasement is retarded. You're fucking stupid. And most of the time, these OCs who are just OH SO QUALIFIED to fight on even terms with the HEROES/VILLAINS OF THE WORLD are typically the clones and recolors.

Look, I know I've seen before I can't stop you from doing your thing, just like you can't stop me from writing Zero shoving it up X's butt while Omega shoves it up Zero's butt. But what's the point of being in a fandom, if you completely negate the actual characters involved in it?

If you want an immensely overpowered OC, why bother putting it into a fandom? Are you that desperate to show off or get epeen strokes that you take your unsightly creation, pit against the powerful heroes/villains and show pathetically obviously-rigged fights where somehow your OC walks away victorious?

If such a character existed what's the point of the canons? If your OC could whoop Zero's ass, enslave X, woo Leviathan and Ciel and make a butt monkey out of Omega, then what's the point or any of those canons existing? Moreover, what's the point of inserting such an atrocity into the universe you're so desperate to break?

There isn't.

Whether you like it or not, the canons are always gonna be cooler than your OCs. They're gonna be smarter, stronger, and overall just better. Why? Cause it's their universe. This is a fandom, and the fans rally the story and the canon characters.

Whether in RP or your sprite comics or your fanfics or what have you, OCs aren't the top of the food chain. They aren't related to canons. They aren't associated with them. They certainly aren't fucking them.

Sure, create your stories. Fine, share them. But don't ever argue your shit makes sense, is logical, and could 'easily fit.' It doesn't. It's retarded. Get over it. It's just your little fantasy. It's not canon and should never be argued as canon and sure as fuck shouldn't be considered as creative or awesome as things that flow naturally or fit more logically.

In an RP setting you could say there's a bit of lenity. If you limited it to just canons, you'd have a small RP group. Arguably I say that's kinda better but I digress. So OCs are brought in, and the OCs have to be able to survive. And they shouldn't just survive because your RP rules state none shalt kill another. They should survive by playing smart, and if a clash occurs, they play even smarter.

I'm sorry but your OC isn't going to withstand a punch to the face from Atlas without some serious pain. Your OC isn't going to go 'pew pew' with a little gun and cause massive damage to Aile while she's Merged. Whether you like it or not, these canons are stronger than you.

The one thing that separates RP from fanfic/sprite comics is that the canon is controlled by a player. Therefore, the canon is sort of a proxy-OC. However, just cause you RP a canon doesn't mean you're immensely powerful either. If you play stupid, all that vast power does you no good. Even Atlas is gonna feel it if she doesn't move from a saber coming into her flank.

At this point I'm basically saying know your checks and balances. Outside of RP, canons are gods basically. They're the heroes/villains of the games for reasons. Your OCs aren't. Don't bother trying to flip that because 90% of you can't do it right, won't do it right, and won't bother trying to do it right or learn to do it right.

In the RP setting, both players need to be smart. The OC has to be smarter if they wanna live, but the canon RPer has to be smart too because right now the canon is vulnerable due to being controlled by a player and is not in a pre-set story scenario.

Basically… learn to fucking read, comprehend, and think logically.

Moving on to the actual OC themselves. In the ZX series especially, there's tons of OCs. Hell I got some. And I know two of them don't really belong. I admit it. Could they? Sure if the technology would also exist. But does it? Not the way I wrote it. But unless I get really obnoxious sounding I'll leave that for a different rant.

A buddy touched on this, but so many characters are just angst. Angst angst angst OH WOE IS ME MY LIFE IS TERRIBLE MY PAST IS SO HORRIBLE I MUST AVENGE MYSELF or something.

Angst is a powerful character tool. So is revenge. I encourage the smart and creative uses of these tools. But angst and revenge aren't everything a person is. Sure, they can be consumed by it. But by god, put some fucking thought into it.

Being consumed by anything typically is short lived. Either the state of being consumed by that emotion or the character. No one functions long like that without being disgustingly repetitive. Even Sigma got pretty repetitive. It was getting pretty boring cause nothing changed. But hey, that's canon. This is OC and you got no fucking excuse.

The sad thing is half the fuckers who are all ANNNNNNNNGST are such with very little substance. And most of the time it's for attention. Oh the tragedy! Oh the horror! Best part? These asswipe of OCs only bring up the angst and terrible shit when it suits them. Otherwise they're perfectly fine and happy. BUT OMG. PROMETHEUS KILLED MY DAD AND YOU SAID HIS NAME. I WILL IMMEDIATELY GO INTO AN INCONSOLABLE RAGE/CRYING FIT AND REMAIN SO UNTIL I GET BORED AND THEN I AM SUDDENLY HAPPY GO LUCKY AGAIN.

Shut the hell up.

Is legitimate character development so hard? Does it really kill so many brain cells to sit down and think of your characters as realistic beings capable of higher level thought? You might have a terrible past but there's gotta be more, otherwise you're one boring shitbag. If your character is seriously nothing but angst and/or revenge, with little to no other substance to them, then you know how that character comes off? Fake, unrealistic, and to be avoided.

There's more to life than tragedy and vengeance. Is it true it can consume a person? Yes. But like I said there's gotta be more. The OC might be depressed, but they can do more than mope in a corner or try to OD off pills. There's more they can do then relentlessly chase after the ever elusive prey for revenge.

Fucking do something for God's sake.

The worst ones are the OCs that focus on their angst and revenge and do nothing about it. Or are so fucking stupid they always miss the chance to fix it, so they're eternally fucked and have these stupid excuses to continue being pathetic and one dimensional. This is fucking stupid. Why do you do this.

Another thing that got touched on by my friend was OC relationships. I'm not even touching OC/Canon. I've done that. I'm done ranting about that. So we'll do OC/OC!

RP relationships are hard. You got two different players who're bringing their characters closer. But just because it's hard doesn't mean you're SUDDENLY IN LOVE JUST CAUSE. If you can't say why your character is paired with another's then you're not only failing your RP partner, you're failing yourself you fucking failure.

Yes I just added that on to sound mean.

Seriously, think logically here. There's love at first sight and all, and there's that high of emotion, but after that's over then what? Is there something else supporting that relationship? Or are you forcing this eternal emotional high so you have a "valid excuse" for this relationship?

Do the characters stay in character when in this relationship? Do they still get to have room to develop and grow? Did you have to fucking plan this to happen?

"Oh they're so beautiful and kind and wonderful! I looooove you" shut the fuck up you wanna be Twilight. Let's have some SUBSTANCE! Let's have some LIFE here. PROGRESS? REALISTIC DEVELOPMENT? ANYONE? C'MON NOW.

I'm not gonna make it to every point I wanna get across, mostly cause I'm sleepy as all hell, but honestly guys. Think. You can think can't you? You got brains in those skulls right?

Then fucking use them.

Goddamn fandoms.
 
Okay so I'm terrible at this blogging thing, I really should try to keep it updated. Anyways, happy belated new years, we are in 2012! Let's hope I can finish all my stories before the end of the world, eh? =D

All right, first things first, I'ma give you all the low down. I'm sick. What I'm sick with I don't know. It's random, sharp pain in my head that comes and goes sometimes quick, sometimes lasts. My neurologist has no idea what's wrong so we're in the 'let's test all these medication options' phase. I've had this issue since summer, and while I don't wanna make it an excuse it's partly the reason for the drought of writing.

Hopefully the meds will work, but so far it's made the pain more frequently, just doesn't last as long.

I have unofficially passed nursing. By that I mean I've gone through 99% of the classes, now I'm going to do preceptorship. I'll be partnered with an actual RN and work her shift with her 3 days out of the week. Full shifts, 7 to 7 (later if need be) and overtime doesn't count for my hours. Once I get that schedule down, you should see more updates from me, since that leaves me four days to myself.

Anyway, to the stuff ya'll actually care about! STORY STATUS!

Song of Memory: Redux - this story IS NOT ABANDONED. I know it's been going for like, two years, but I swore I'd finish it and finish it I will. Right now we're on chapter 36 of the planned 50+Epilogue. As you surely know by now, SoMR is basically a re-telling of the X-series starting pretty much just before X4, and we're currently in X8. A few have asked me, what about X1-X3? While I won't be following those games exactly, I promise some elements from them will come to light in the remaining chapters. I will not include any elements from Xtreme, as I didn't play them, and CM was already covered. For those who've been continued fans and readers, and even those newly discovering it, thank you! I truly appreciate you all.

The Legends of Neo Arcadia - While many probably don't know about this mini project, as only one fic of it has been completed, I will state these are all pretty much only 1% completed. While I dearly love the sci-fi+fantasy elements, I think out of all the 'series' I have on the site, these will be on the end of the list to be done. Sorry for any that knew of them and were looking forward to them.

Through Glass - This is basically my second 'Cold', in that it'll be long. Cold took months of straight work to complete, and with preceptorship and head issues (Haha, I'm mental *bricked*) I don't know how long TG will take. However, after SoMR, this is second highest priority. I dearly love my concept for it, and so far I quite like my quality of writing. It's fics like this and Cold that I try to write my best and then attempt to beat that best with something better. TG I'll be happy if it's comparable to Cold. I'll be truly proud of its better. As such, I will warn my readers, The final part of Through Glass will not be posted until I am thoroughly happy with the entire thing. Unlike Cold, which I posted all at once, I am trying with posting TG in parts. If you like, you can tell me which you prefer--waiting for a final product, or seeing it work in progress.

60 Days - This is a spur of the moment one shot mini series. It's not meant to have an actual 'end' piece. Therefore, it may or may not be updated in the future, it's just something you have to watch out for. I can't force myself to write a 60 Days piece if I don't want to, and I'm not gonna even try ^^;

Beauty of the Beast - I admit, this was just supposed to be a guilty pleasure, PWP Omega/shota!Zero series for my inner pervert. However, as I was writing the later parts, I suddenly had the inspiration for a real, in-depth plot. Right now the first 3 chapters (the porn ones) are going to be completely rewritten to better match a less porny story. Fear not, if you're a fan of the dirty smut, I will keep them posted elsewhere on the site. But the re-writing is, like the Legends of Neo Arcadia, below that of SoMR and TG.

Rockin' Zero! - This is crack. It's meant to be crack. While it has a 'plot' in a sense, it's still nonesense humor for those nights I'm high on caffiene, incredibly tired but can't sleep, or just feel like making a fool of myself. So updates will be sporadic.

And finally, for those of you who wander here from FF.net (I'll end up copying this on my FF.net profile just to make sure you see it) for my DISSIDIA fic:

Magnet and Magnetized - I am so sorry for the lack of updates here. To be perfectly honest Magnet is nearing the end and I would love to finish it up for you all! I still love 8x9 and want to write more on them! However, I am still primarily a Rockman ficwriter, so while I swear I will finish Magnet and it's sister fic, I can't promise a steady schedule like it had before. However, I want it to be known that I will work on Magnet til the end, and then finish up Magnetized after the main fic is finished! Please bear with me, and those who continue to enjoy it, thank you so much!

Also, about the website:

As I'm sure you've noticed, I've put fics on seperate pages in accordance to their series. I will also start linking the newest updates on the homepage across from the updater Plurk thing. Only three updates will be there at a time, so keep watch of Plurk if it's been a while since your last visit!

I also took down the Preview section. Sorry. It was useless when we hit that writing drought. Random one shots are short enough to not need previews and multi-chap stories... you'll just have to wait ^^;

I'll keep the sprites and MML3 sections up but for sprites, don't expect much, haha.

I think that's about it. If you have any questions, feel free to leave a comment, email me at [email protected] or add me to MSN (Same email), but make sure you give me some indication of who you are/your purpose or I'll think you're a bot XD;
 
I'm not really all that great at blogging.

Anyway, the poll has been taken out and the results have 15 votes for YES to preview section and one vote for NO. The 'other' was a test from me, so it doesn't count obviously lol

Preview section will go up Saturday. Hopefully I'll have worked on a few pieces between now and then.

Thanks guys~

@Sal23 - Late reply is late, but thank you for enjoying the essay! I am glad it seems legit, I truly did want to have as much support as possible. =
 
So I got this in my FF.net PM box:

"Why, why do all of you people make Zero gay?!? He likes Ciel. And before that it was Isis. So, Zero is STRAIGHT!"

I was nice in replying, but I still found it hilarious. One, it's IRIS (if you're going to advocate a het pairing, KNOW WHO'S IN IT), two, WHERE in canon does it say Zero likes Ciel more than friendship? Hm? Three, its fanfiction, I can do whatever the fuck I want.

Lulz.

Been having my brain shot repeatedly by talking to the ex-boy. I'll get on board with writing again soon, promise.
 
All right so my first MMX story ever was Song of Memory, of which I'm re-writing as Song of Memory: Redux.

So far I'm relatively happy with the fanfic. It could use a few touch ups but the 28 chapters posted are still pretty good quality. I think the build up wasn't too long or too short, Zero's depression over Iris and Colonel was relatively realistic, the sex wasn't just fanservice and had emotion associated to it, etc. I hope I can continue to churn out quality chapters despite the business of nursing school.

Right now SoM:R is meant to end around the 50 chapter mark. Currently we are in what I call the "Nightmare Arc", which will be a combination of X6, X7, and a little bit of X8. That's right, we'll see the Hunters getting pelted by Gate's Nightmare virus and Red Alert, and that's just the outside influences.

What I'm going to ramble about right now isn't so much related to the Arc itself as it is one of the factors: the Axl and Delia relationship.

Right now the way the story is going, Axl and Delia are going to hook up. Delia is flirting shamelessly with Axl and Axl is hitting puberty. I plan to hook them together but, I wonder how far they'll go. Sometimes no matter how much I plan the story and characters do their own thing it seems.

They can simply date, or actually get heavy into each other, or possibly never date at all and it's more one-sided. Either way it goes X and Zero aren't gonna be happy, especially X. He's so angry nowadays you'd think he was PMSing! Who's ever seen X so lashy outside of Zero dying? Zero is typically the lashy one. Hmmm.

The other factor of the Nightmare Arc that's also sort of getting me is the Gate/Alia/Signas triangle. I've always been a fan of Signas/Alia as a het couple, but Gate/Alia also has tons of potential. My question is, should I even put any real emphasis on this triangle, or keep other couplings to a minimum and focus only on Zero and X? I know I'll show brief Signas/Alia moments as the story unfolds, but should I add a little more just for some diversity? I kinda want to, but I don't want to clutter my story if its completely unwanted.

Anyway that's my rant for the next month. Check out the LJ (see links section) for storyboarding/concepts/rambling of mature stories. Back to studying!