Punishment
It was one of those days that wrapped its invisible hands around his neck and strangled him. No matter what he did, he couldn’t shake the filling sensation of despair and regret, the guilt and weakness. Awake or asleep, in peace or in battle, Zero felt the same crushing grip of darkness that he couldn’t truly comprehend.
He dropped the saber, his knees meeting the ground just as the weapon did. Whereas it clattered closed, at rest within itself, Zero was still churning turmoil. Every enemy he had slain had worn the face of someone he once deemed important to him, and each time he hesitated he paid for it with blood. He had no choice but to kill them, no matter the face.
Was that the truth X hid from him? Zero found himself crawling to a dark corner, trying to breathe as pain assaulted him from within and without. It wasn’t Omega that had slain his friends and loved ones… it was Zero himself?
The images of his battles today did not relent. He saw a blond-haired woman, a green-eyed boy, an imposing officer… each face was different, each one tore open a new gash on his body and soul when he fought them, slew them. A lovely young woman with a red beret, a man with a stone face but caring eyes… friends from his past. Zero had killed them, back then and even now.
This last one wore X’s face. He nearly died to it.
Zero pressed himself into the corner, wrapping his arms around his knees and curled into as tight of a ball as he could. He wanted to shrink, to erase himself and this pit inside of himself. No one felt this much guilt and was innocent of crime. Zero knew his hands were stained, but he thought, was led to think, they were stained with the blood of his enemies.
But the more time that went on, the more blurry and incomplete memories he unlocked, the more the blood became purer.
He wanted to talk to X. Talk to him and learn the truth, but X was gone. Gone with the Guardians Zero once thought of as possible allies. Gone with the memories and truths he so desperately needed. Were the images of him holding that dead girl in his arms proof for or against him? Were the pictures of his bloodied hands from him, or were they of Omega’s hands?
And even if they were, were those not once his hands anyway?
Zero pressed his hands to his helmet as if trying to cover his ears. But the sounds of death continued to ring as the pouring of images went on, and nothing he did could stop it. Even if Zero shut himself down, he would dream the same horrors. These hours were a cage and he had to suffer.
Given his guilt, it was quite a light punishment.
A clatter broke through the screams in his head, and Zero’s eyes snapped open. He looked to where he had left his saber, foolishly, so far away from himself. He shouldn’t sit here like this, so deep in enemy territory.
Zero had to force himself to have the will to stand up. The steps to the weapon were excruciating, but he could handle it. If he could survive all he had thus far, his own guilt was nothing; he bent over to pick up the weapon, the one that could have murdered his own precious past.
His fingertips brushed the weapon. You’re a God of Destruction!
He had thought those were taunts. Falsifications. But now he knew better… they weren’t referring to Omega or the fact he was Omega’s copy. No, Zero knew Omega was his copy. Zero was the God of Destruction, of Death and Despair.
He killed everyone he ever loved. The brown-haired girl. Sweet X. All of his friends, dead because of him. Ciel, Alouette, the Resistance… they were next. Zero gripped the saber and stood up, staring at the weapon of malice with a blank expression.
He claimed their lives. He’ll claim more.
Zero could already picture it. This saber beheading little Alouette, dismembering Andrew and Cerveau, piercing Ciel’s heart. And the hand on that saber…
Zero screamed and threw the weapon down the hall he had come down. Was this his true destiny? To claim the lives of those he wanted to protect, to cherish? All of his wishes, always disappearing, always destroyed and taken away! Those he loved, those he wanted and desired, murdered and often by his own devices!
You disgusting piece of shit!
Suddenly blood sprayed into the air, and a cold numbness quickly spread from his hip. Zero stared at the soaring droplets, his eyes wide when pain registered. He hissed, both hands clapping over the sliced flesh of his right hip. Foolish…!
“What angers you so?” a voice whispered, and Zero froze in the action of turning. “What makes you so terrified?”
Zero leaned heavily against the bleeding gash, turning just enough to glare over his shoulder. “How… the hell are you…”
Omega was smiling. He always smiled. “You and I are the same, Zero. So long as you exist… so shall I. Why won’t you admit aloud what you know is truth within yourself?”
The red-eyed blond casually tossed his own weapon aside, wrapping one arm around Zero’s waist as the other came around Zero’s shoulder, grasp his chin and forcing him to look more at Omega. Zero hissed, narrowed his eyes and both hands grabbed the arm around his waist.
“You’re gorgeous like this,” Omega murmured darkly. “So ready to kill, to murder.”
Zero froze at the words, rendered shocked and yet not. Was it murder if it was deserved? Was that not justice?
Omega purred at the indecision he saw in Zero’s eyes, pleased to reduce the once proud and powerful Reploid to such so easily. He tightened his embrace, bringing Zero closer and turning him until their lips could lock.
Zero choked and tried to pull away, but Omega’s grip on his chin was tighter than he thought. The original deepened the kiss, tightened the hold, and Zero was finding his will to fight fading. Had he not thought simple regret and guilt was not punishment enough for his sins?
The kiss deepened as Omega forced his tongue between Zero’s loosening lips, and the black-eyed blond went limp in his arms. All he could do was allow himself to be kissed, used, his hands now gripping the blood-red vest of the other with a sort of want. He didn’t want Omega, far from it… but he wanted adequate punishment. For what he had done, especially to X…
You deserve worse than death.
Zero hadn’t realized the kiss ended until Omega grabbed him by the collar of his vest. He gasped, staring into the cold expression of his ruby-eyed twin before he was roughly thrown down to the ground on his back. Zero’s groan at the landing turned into a louder cry of pain as Omega’s heel crushed down into the gash he had momentarily forgotten.
Rage came back to Zero and he tried to throw the other’s foot off. He deserved worse than death, yes, but he couldn’t let Omega have that pleasure!
Seeing his combativeness, Omega dropped to the ground between Zero’s legs and slammed his fist into Zero’s face. Pain bloomed from the impact and Zero spat out a mouthful of blood to the side before resuming his fight, raising his own fists to beat Omega away from him.
But his strength had fled him, for Omega seemingly overpowered him with ease. Did Zero not wish to truly fight? Was that it? Did he just subconsciously give in with no will? Or was this all in his head and he was truly going mad…
Such thoughts fled as Omega shredded Zero’s vest off of him, and in horror Zero found himself not even trying to stop him anymore. His vest, his undersuit, his waist armor all ripped off of his body until most of it was bare to Omega’s roving eyes.
“Stop it…” even his voice was weak, to Zero’s horror. “Omega, let me go…”
Omega wasn’t even truly pinning him down. He ripped the bodysuit further down until all of Zero was exposed to him, and he grinned widely when the copy’s rigidness bounced free. “You want this,” he purred. “Deep down you’ve been wanting this.”
Zero shook his head, denying it. Yet apparently he not only betrayed his friends in the past, but he now betrayed himself. He couldn’t sink any lower. “No…”
Omega leaned over, his lips pressing against the bared sections of Zero’s neck. Whatever invisible bonds rendered him helpless Zero didn’t know, and the only form of opposition he could do was turn his face away.
Omega’s mouth left a hot trail of bites and licks down his neck and chest, and the lower he went the tighter Zero clenched his eyes shut. He deserved this… didn’t he? He deserved it so he should take it. That’s what this was, his punishment for all his wrongdoings. The only explanation for why he laid still, why he started to gasp and moan when Omega’s mouth bit into the slice wound as his hands fondled his hardness.
Zero’s moans began to echo in the hall they were in as Omega’s hand around him moved faster, gripped him harder. He writhed at the touch, confusion and guilt intertwining with the pleasure; all he could do was helplessly wind his arms around Omega’s neck when the original moved his lips back to Zero’s own. If this was punishment, why did he feel so wonderful? He wanted pain, deserved pain; but this felt too incredible, too… too…
Zero’s back arched, his hips thrusting toward Omega’s hand as he was mercilessly stroked, milked, handled roughly in such satisfying ways. Omega leaned up and away from him, that prideful smirk on his lips as he watched Zero squirm beneath him, his hips helplessly gyrating. A blush had stained Zero’s cheeks a deep crimson, matching the remaining armor he left on the copy beautifully. Omega admired the lost look of Zero’s blackened eyes, the dead will to deny what was happening to him now.
Zero submitted to him more than just in body, and Omega couldn’t resist the soft, husky chuckle when the copy cried out in release, covering his own stomach and chest with the proof of his weakness.
Zero…
His body hit the ground, and the only sounds left were the laborious, passionate breaths Zero emitted. He turned his head, opening his eyes to look at Omega with all the shame of the world in them. With his unsoiled hand, the other undoing his own lower armor, Omega gently grasped Zero’s chin again, noticing how limp, almost dead he was. He allowed Omega to move his head to look straight up at him, his eyes slowly losing the shame to go completely blank.
Zero.
Omega leaned down, his lips ghosting over the copy’s as he settled himself between Zero’s legs. When he registered the sensation of Omega pressing into him, Zero whined, one more regaining life within his eyes. Violation, finally the gorging slash of pain registered as Omega advanced within him and Zero’s hands fisted Omega’s vest. This was an agony he never experienced before, so different from the wounds he suffered or the chunks of his soul being ripped out.
This is what you want?
Yes. Give me more.
Suddenly Omega slammed into him, ripping a scream from Zero’s throat. Bracing a hand on either side of Zero’s head, Omega looked down at him and began to move, each thrust producing the same agonized cry from the one beneath him.
It hurt. It hurt and Zero accepted this fact as readily as he could accept Omega into his body. It hurt more than anything; it hurt in a way that was more damaging than even the realization he was a murderer. He wasn’t losing a part of himself like before—at this moment, Zero was torturing and killing a vital part of himself. And he exalted in it.
Kill me.
But death was too sweet. So Omega slammed into him and Zero could only cry out wordlessly to vent his pain. But he couldn’t deny it, not anymore—each sin was punished with a thrust of Omega’s hips. Each murder was justified with each stab into Zero’s body, into his soul. Tears leaked from his eyes but Zero willed them, letting his pride take the punishment as well. Let him endure this bodily harm and let him submit to his enemy in the basest, most disgusting way possible!
Zero started to beg.
Mercifully Omega complied.
He didn’t know how long it went on. Zero lost track of time as he spread his legs and let Omega ride his body, slam into it, tenderly take it, let him do whatever he wanted to it. At some point the pain dulled, although it was always there, and Zero needed more of it. He hadn’t been punished enough, not for his crimes; but even as he begged for more and was given more, the pain became an enjoyable throb.
Hours passed, or maybe even mere minutes, before Zero found himself once more soiled both on the outside of his body and within it. Omega stilled his movements, laid above Zero and remained within him. Shame crashed on Zero’s temporary clarity as he felt wet warmth trickle out of him, and before he knew it, tears filled his eyes.
He was a disgusting soul, a disgusting mind. Now he truly had the violated body to match.
Omega’s face was blank, as if he was unaware of what he had done to the copy. Perhaps he really didn’t know; wouldn’t something like Omega be unaffected by guilt and turmoil? Zero, for a brief moment, longed to be him again. He closed his eyes and felt tender kisses on his eyelids, and a few tears slipped free to streak down his face. Even his tears lost their purity—it felt like normal, dirty water to Zero.
“Zero.”
Zero’s eyes closed tighter, more tears forced over the brim and down to splatter to the ground under him. Omega called for him, again, and it sounded like the chorus of accusing souls in his mind. So perfect and fitting, but he wanted to heal before he was flogged again, let him develop scars to these new wounds.
“Zero,” Omega’s lips were on his neck, so soft and tender, it made the violated blond shiver in anticipation. “Can you hear me?”
Above the accusations? Of course. Zero opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling as he felt a numbness fill him. Perhaps he didn’t even deserve pain… to have feeling at all. Why be a toy, when it was so much worse to be nothing? Was this why Omega was so gentle? To smudge away his capacity to feel?
Zero’s eyes fixated on a light above them as Omega’s lips and hands loved his bruised body. The light’s structure was odd, with that x-shaped ironwork…
X-shaped light…
X!
Rage, hot and sudden, burst from Zero’s core and scorched the numbness away. “Let go…” Zero pushed through his teeth. Omega lifted his head, and the black-eyed blond looked right into his hell-colored eyes with all the hatred he possessed. “Let go!”
Omega lost the blank tenderness, a vile smirk spreading on that too-handsome face. “Why?” he murmured. “You wanted my touch, my body joining yours. If someone as powerful as I takes you, you can claim weakness. You can give up control with no guilt.”
“No…” that wasn’t it at all. He just needed punishment! It wasn’t as if he wanted…
“You begged for me,” Omega purred, leaning forward and brushing his lips against Zero’s. “Begged for more. You gave me control just so you had to right to say you had none, so you could enjoy this depravity without adding to your growing number of failures.”
“Shut up!” Zero hissed.
“You’re just a tool, after all, aren’t you? A discarded little copy whom failed every expectation given to him…”
“Shut up!”
A flash of strength, fueled by the rage, gave Zero the power to overcome the pain of his body. Both hands wrapped around Omega’s neck and he pushed him to the ground, straddling their still joined bodies. Zero began to shake him, but that smirk remained.
“What the hell is your purpose,” Zero screamed, “if everything is my fault!? Why do you exist if I’m the sinner?! Why were you born if I was perfect to destroy the world and everyone I loved?!”
Why, why, why, always why. The reasons escaped him and all Zero could do was keep his hands on Omega’s throat and scream. Every blurry memory of the past, every crystal clear incident of this lifetime, rushed through his mind. Beautiful Iris, driven to madness because he, Zero, slew her brother… and then murdered her. He killed not just her body but her very soul.
From him came the virus, the menace that birthed the very abomination that caused so much death and destruction. Millions of humans, destroyed in an instant, because of Zero’s inability to face the consequences of what he was. Eurasia destroyed the world, because Zero couldn’t destroy it. His friends, those he treasured beyond life, slain one by one by his hand, directly or indirectly.
Sweet, sweet X… left behind, because Zero was weak. Lost his body, because Zero left him. Died, because Zero couldn’t defend him.
He lost everything. So many precious things, so many precious people. His hopes, dreams, loves, nothing mattered anymore.
It all died in the end, because of him.
Zero had realized he slowly loosened his grip on Omega’s neck til the red-eyed blond sat up, and the movement pierced his body, making him wince. Carefully Omega guided Zero’s bowed head to his shoulder, and with a gentleness not befitting him, lifted Zero’s sore body up and pulled out of him. Shame painted a blush across Zero’s cheeks, but he didn’t look up, didn’t dare to see the face of his punishment. Who was he to complain, to question… Omega was made for destruction and he exalted it. Zero… Zero couldn’t even do that.
“Do you hate me, Zero?” Omega whispered.
“Not…” Zero pressed his forehead harder against Omega’s shoulder. “Not as much as I hate myself.”
“But, do you?”
Zero heaved a helpless sigh. “What’s it matter?” such a rhetorical question. “It doesn’t. Everything… everyone… lost. Taken from me. Because I failed, in some way, some fashion. It’s my fault. So hating you… even if you were once me… just not…”
Zero felt himself crying again as he pictured Colonel’s twisted face of pain, Iris’ cry of betrayal… and X’s unforgiving, gentle smile. “I killed them,” he whispered. And Omega listened in silence to his pitiful sobs.
He couldn’t take it anymore. Zero knew he’d be the downfall of the Resistance, of lovely little Ciel, and that knowledge stabbed his heart as deeply as Omega had pierced his body. The pain of the earlier violated flared with the realization Zero did excel in what he was built for… but if only he didn’t feel so stricken over it. If only he were Omega, again…
He felt Omega’s lips on his cheek and Zero turned away, shamed to take a small bit of pleasure at the affection. The original grasped his chin, and Zero winced, whimpering even as he was forced to look into that face that was his own, and yet, so above and beyond what he could be.
“What is it you yearn for, Zero?” Omega’s voice filled the tense air. His breath, warm and inviting, teased Zero’s lips. “Surely you desire something in this life.”
Zero closed his eyes, going limp in Omega’s arms. “There’s no point,” he whispered. “Everything I wanted was ripped away… or, I killed everything I needed.”
“Not yet. Want me.” Zero started, his eyes snapping open as Omega stared at him, filled with an intensity that made Zero’s heart leap. “Wish for me. Desire me.”
“No,” Zero croaked, shoving Omega away with the last bit of strength he had. “No. You’re my fault, my sin, but I won’t forgive you. I won’t keep you. I…”
“Want me,” ruby eyes, so soft, yet so deadly, captivated Zero and rendered him silent.
Everything he wished for, destroyed. Everything he desired, murdered. Everything he loved, taken from him. By his own bloodied hands.
Want me.
Wish for me.
Desire me.
Zero eventually destroyed any and everything he longed for. Directly. Or indirectly.
He leaned closer to Omega, raising a hand to lightly brush his cheek. The original stayed still, with that soft and expectant expression. He wanted to be desired, yearned for.
Zero exhaled a shaky breath of Omega’s name, embracing him tightly as their lips brushed. Both closed their eyes, and Omega’s arms wound possessively and lovingly around Zero, the broken blond for once being the one to initiate a kiss.
Punish me.