Mistake
Ciel wasn't sure if she had died and gone to Heaven without her knowing, or if something just happened to occur at the exact right moment in the precise second of time. Or something. In either case, she was in a state of happiness unlike anything she ever felt even if she was in the middle of a bloody, grueling war.
Zero had finally realized her feelings... and, a few days later, approached her to formally ask her to be 'his.'
Her days from then on were blissful even among the battles and threats from Neo Arcadia. No matter what happened out there, the moment Zero returned and greeted her with a kiss, Ciel knew nothing could ever permanently depress her. Not with Zero finally returning her feelings.
Ciel always figured she was unworthy of Zero; he was a legend, a warrior of unsurpassed skill, a Reploid, among many other wondrous things. But if there was one thing all humans shared, it was the fiery desire to obtain what they want, and nearly above the want for peace was the want for Zero's adoration. And now that she had it... Ciel almost could say she'd be happy to never have world peace so long as Zero was hers.
Her life was complete. Zero would hold her hand when she worked, hold her when she slept, kiss her and treat her like a doll in a gentlmanly way that always made her giggle and blush. Although he always had that near-emotionless look on his face and that monotone voice, she saw the traces of warmth. He was trying, just for her, to express himself in ways he probably didn't really understand. But he was trying, and Ciel was happy with it all.
When the conflict was over, Ciel wanted to drop hints to Zero to make their relationship formal and on a higher level. Marriage was any girl's dream, and to get married to their hero? Ciel was living the high life no matter how she looked at it. Once her Ciel System was complete, the war would end, she would get married to the love of her life and have her fairytale she always dreamed.
Of course no couple were endlessly happy. There were times she had little spats with Zero, often him walking away before it got out of hand. Most of the time it was about X and his memories: Zero still sought to recover them, while Ciel would tell him to create new ones with her. Somehow the suggestion always offended him no matter how she phrased it, and he refused to explain why. She finally had to ask X during one of his visits, and all he could tell her was Zero was attached to his old memories.
"It's like Alouette is attached to her toy," X explained. "Does she need it? No. But if you try to take it from her or replace it, she'll be upset. Zero probably feels like you're trying to replace what he remembers. Just leave the matter be."
Ciel wanted to, but it agonized Zero, she could tell. He made her so happy, she wanted to return the favor. But she should probably wait til the fighting was over...
As days passed it was getting out that they were together. The entire Base was estatic for them, and Zero met each of their words of congradulations with the same blank face as he did their praise of his skills. Ciel thought it adorable how he didn't know how to respond.
The downside of the whole ordeal was Neo Arcadia found out, and naturally, she became a bigger target than before. Despite being human, Ciel still found herself being the main target of kidnaps or assassination attempts. It was a difficult time, but Zero always saved her. He was a complete hero; before, it was X who suffered the attacks in an attempt to weaken Zero. Now that he had someone even more important, Neo Arcadia sunk to a new low, but Zero always prevailed.
Ciel wanted to give him her heart and soul. Wanted to give him everything she had to offer. It was a hard decision--after all, shouldn't she wait for when they got married for anything like that? But as much as she wanted to belive in peace, there was always that chance one day, Zero won't come home... or she'll slip, and fall for a trap.
She resolved to talk to him about it. But somehow each time she did, the conversation became a debate over something not even related, and Zero would storm out with Ciel left fuming.
After the near-miss in the snow fields, Ciel decided they needed to bond. She had never been so afraid in her life, when Harpuia's men ambushed them...
The talk started sweet enough. Zero seemed to receive her affections well, despite being obviously occupied with thoughts of the new threat. When her lips reached for his, Zero drew back, his eyes a bit narrowed.
"Ciel," he rumbled. "With all that is going on..."
"Which is why I think we should," she didn't have to say it. After all, they sort of spoke of it a few times.
Zero actually frowned, making Ciel do the same. Weren't men supposed to jump at this chance? "I can not afford the distraction, Ciel."
"Yes, you can. You need it... I need it." she tried to kiss him again, but Zero stood up from their seat and walked away a few steps.
"Ciel, what if I never return? Then you've wasted the gift you've been saving." Zero always brought that up! Ciel was so tired of it!
"For you!" she stood, raising her voice. Here they go again, but maybe Zero secretly liked these little spats? Not many outside of her or X could provoke him out of his usual stoic state.
"You're the love of my life, the one I've waited for. It's for you!" Ciel declared, the passion in her voice all too plain.
"That's enough, Ciel. You're just afraid--"
"You're damn right I am, and all I want is a little comfort!" she felt so put off. Zero turned to her, an unreadable look on his face.
"This is more than a little comfort."
"Zero, why are you being difficult over this? It's almost like our old arguements over your dusty memories and--"
"I cherish those 'dusty memories,' if you happened to pay attention." Zero snapped.
Ciel was as much of a spitefire as he was. "Shouldn't you cherish me more?"
That started a whole debate, one that neither were winning as they began to raise their voices at each other. It eventually got to the point where Ciel had lost her drive and, for once, she made the first move to walk out and leave him steaming alone in this room.
Yet as soon as she walked by, Zero grasped her by the arm. She didn't even had the chance to cry out when she realized she was sailing through the air, landing on the bed. Ciel barely recovered from the shock before she realized Zero was on top of her, towering over her with that unreadable look in his eyes.
Ciel made a mental note that defiance, apparently, was one of Zero's 'on switches.'
Pleased with how they were finally progressing, Ciel instigated a kiss. Zero always was hesitate during such intimacy, waiting for her to deepen the affection before returning in. She hoped, as the time passed and things progressed, he'd become a little more passionate about it.
The kiss ended and although Ciel tilted her head for Zero to shower her with affection, he instead lifted a hand and brushed aside some of her bangs. With that hand he disengaged her helmet, letting it drop to the bed before he ever so gently ran his fingers through her now loose hair.
Zero always thought Ciel to be pretty, there was no doubt of that. He usually meant it objectively, but even now despite everything, she did look beautiful. He should have felt incredibly lucky.
"Thank you." Zero rumbled. Ciel had fallen for him and it made everything so much easier to deal with. The fact she never pressured him for affection, except for now, was something to be appreciated for someone like him.
Ciel closed her eyes, smiling and waiting for another kiss.
"Maybe, one day..." Zero was mumbling under his breath as the hand in her hair slid down, fingertips brushing her cheek. Ciel tilted her head toward him, bringing one arm up to loop around his neck and bring him down.
His breath was against her lips, and she slightly parted them in anticipation. But now that they were that much closer, she could actually hear what he was mumbling.
"One day, I can fall in love with you, too..."
Ciel's eyes snapped open and she shoved Zero away, scooting back away from him. A bit shocked, Zero stared at the empty space in his arms, then up at her.
"What did you say?" Ciel demanded. She hoped the roaring rise of her blood pressure from the growing excitement actually made her hear things.
When Zero cursed, she knew she had heard what he said very clearly. Eyes unable to resist the urge to cry, she nonetheless attempted to hold back the tears, but her face was now red in anger.
"What do you mean? Aren't you... aren't you in love with me now?"
Zero sat back on his kneels, one hand running over the top of his helmet as if wanting to run his fingers through his hair. "This... is complicated," he muttered.
"No!" Ciel's palms hit the mattress. "This is very simple! What did you mean?!"
"Look," ironically, Zero looked away. "You're special to me, Ciel. I will admit such for you... but I have never been an advocate of a Reploid and human couple."
"So why..."
Zero did look at her then, and she hated him for it, because then she could see he had no remorse or anything in his eyes. "I told you I cherish my memories. The only link to them that I have is X, and Neo Arcadia has been targetting him with viruses and data traps because they knew he was special to me. So if I made a show of there being someone else, they would turn their attention to that someone else. As you are in love with me already, the farce was half in place. I already protect you and fight for you, so I saw it as a chance. Life did not change much, but I now do not have a constant threat to my memories."
Memories? He played her heart for dead, unneeded memories? "You can't be serious..." Ciel whispered. "Okay, look, I'm sorry for the fighting over them. But this is a cruel joke, Zero..."
He didn't look away. "My memories and what they mean to me, what they represent to me, are most important to me. Therefore, X is most important to me. If a human or two must be hurt to preserve them, then so be it. I will fight for you, Ciel. I will tolerate the affections and I will return them. As I said, maybe I will fall in love with you one day. But that day has yet to come, is all I am saying."
"No..." Ciel got up from the bed, tears streaking down her face. "No... you're saying a lot more."
In the end and for the first time, Ciel still ended up being the one walking out first.