Malfunction
“You needed something, Zero?”
Zero slowly lifted his head so his eyes could line up with Ciel’s face; she worriedly noted the eyes themselves wouldn’t move. “I think I am malfunctioning,” his voice was barely above a whisper, a strange sound to it.
Ciel immediately guided him to her work bench, where she snatched her tray of tools and began to arrange them. “What’s malfunctioning?” she asked as she went to her toolbox for more supplies.
Zero stood in front of the bench, not sitting down yet. “I…” his voice croaked, and Ciel whirled around in shock. Even Zero seemed surprised at his inability to speak, staring down at his hands with wide eyes. Well, his eyes seemed to be functioning…
“… this.” Zero’s hands found themselves gripping his helmet and he sat down gracelessly, heavily with a loud thud onto the bench, staring at Ciel with wide eyes. “I can’t… focus. I can’t think properly. I…” his voice broke again, his lips pressing together tightly in what Ciel presumed was frustration.
Before she could ask another debugging question or command to activate his automatic systems, Zero further shocked her by lifting his legs up to he could tuck his knees to his chest, pressing his forehead to his knees. His hands gripped his helmet so tightly it cracked under the pressure as his body began to shake.
Ciel rushed to his side, tools forgotten. “Zero?” she lightly touched his shoulder. “Zero?”
“I don’t understand,” Zero’s muffled voice sounded broken, as if trying to force itself through his voice box. “I… feel so hopeless. So weighed down. Ever since… I haven’t been able…”
Ciel felt a sudden dawning of understanding, and gently she guided Zero to release his helmet and look up at her. His face was as stoic as ever, set in that eternal stone-cold near-frown expression. Yet his eyes… Reploid eyes were perhaps the most revolutionary part of Reploid technology. They were the closest physical aspect to human bodies to date.
“Ever since the battle with Omega?” Ciel asked softly. His face changed ever so slightly. “Ever since… X passed on?”
It was like a voice command. Zero’s entire body went rigid, that face suddenly losing its mask in favor of a flood of different expressions, each one shocking and new to Ciel. He broke away from her and stood away from the bench, going to the nearest wall and slamming his palm against it once, twice, then repeatedly until a crater formed. The palm slapping became punching, and Ciel could only patiently wait til Zero ceased his actions. A final, half-hearted punch finished the round and Zero pressed his forehead to the wall, body beginning to shake.
“Yes.” He murmured, barely heard.
Ciel waited, knowing nothing she could say would progress this phenomenon. Zero’s shoulders began to tremble more than his body and he pressed closer to the wall, as if it offered him more comfort. She could imagine his eyes were clenched tightly, possibly his teeth, his face set in a grimace.
“I…” Zero couldn’t explain it, this malfunction. It was overriding each of his systems, flooding his programming with nonsense messages. His emotion chip felt on the verge of exploding, or was that his own mind?
Zero dropped to the ground onto his knees, still pressed to the wall, head now bowed and shoulders furiously quaking. Suddenly he couldn’t control his speech, a quick explosion of something taking over before he could override the program as he had been doing til now.
“I told him to stay behind!” Zero screamed, hands once more gripping his head. He shook his head furiously, trying to shake off the malfunction even as he continued to yell. “I told him to not waste his energy! Why didn’t he listen to me?!”
Zero’s upper body began to fold over, trying to curl up into a helpless ball against the wall. “Why did he come out there—why couldn’t he just tell the Guardians and stay here where it was safe! Why is he gone, Ciel?! Why him?!”
Ciel slowly went to him, kneeling next to him and placing a hand on his back. Shocked by the touch, Zero lifted his head, staring at her with such despair plain on his face. Yet, perhaps the saddest part of it that made Ciel’s own heart clench was the fact Zero was completely unable to cry.
“What’s wrong with me…” Zero whispered, voice cracking and strained. “Ciel, I don’t understand…”
She wanted to hug him, but it would only confuse him further. Instead, Ciel rubbed his back, giving him her most sympathetic look she could muster without crying for him. “You’re in mourning,” she replied. “You’re… sad, Zero. Sad he died.”
Zero looked ready to cry, but she knew no matter how much he strained, no tears would come out. Reploids could not shed tears, after all. His arms dropped from his head slowly, eyes turning to the wall he abused.
“X died.” Zero whispered, matter-of-factly, yet his voice, his eyes… “X…”
Zero covered his mouth as he gave out a strangled sound and his eyes clenched closed. All Ciel do was watch and let it all run its course as a few tears slipped from her own eyes, since Zero could not shed his own.