Lost
X fell heavily to his knees, bowing his head and clasping his hands at his chest as he panted hard. His entire body trembled as the darkness of his chambers seemed to suffocate him instead of comfort him. Voices outside held no meaning, no sense even if he heard their words clearly. A hand gently touched his hair but out of emotion he savagely slapped it away, and black eyes softened.
"X," the sleek Reploid murmured. He dropped to one knee, placing his hands on X's shoulders and massaging comfortingly. "X, I have to."
"Liar," X hissed. "Liar, there's no reason! No reason, do you hear me?"
"X…"
X scrambled to his feet, staring down at the still kneeling form under him. Eyes that were once a reflective ultramarine, hair that was once full and luscious, a body once so strong and confident… all changed into the shorter, slimmer, almost emotionless Reploid that hardly looked like the most important person in X's life.
"Wasn't a century enough?" X gasped as pain registered in his core. He felt tears crawl up from the water reserve and shove over his eyes, streaking silver lines down his pale cheeks. "Why, Zero? Give me a damn good reason why! Weil is gone! The Dark Elf is under our control again… we defeated that abomination… the wars are over! So why…"
"Because every issue we've had… every time the world is crippled… haven't you notice it's me? It's always linked to me…" Zero bowed his head, closing his eyes. "That century produced something good, yes. My time as a Maverick Hunter saved lives, yes. But X… Mavericks wouldn't have come about if not for me. Sigma would not have. We wouldn't need Mother Elf. Omega wouldn't have been built."
The blond stood, and although he barely stood taller than X anymore, he still commanded such grace and confidence, X still was breathless at the imposing figure. "Get rid of the source," Zero said. "I will be sealed forever. If I'm still around, the bloody history of the world will repeat… and my demented creator's chaotic dream will reign."
"No!" X shouted, covering his ears. "No! You can't leave me, not again! Not again, do you hear me?"
"This isn't easy for me either, X!" Zero suddenly shouted, shocking his friend. "I don't want to leave you and Axl and the others behind, but damn it all, X… If this is what it takes to keep you all safe and sane than I'll do it! I'll pay the price!"
"You can't, Zero…" X's hands dropped to his sides as he felt empty inside, staring into those black, black eyes that were resolute and absolute. "We've always fought together… Sigma's revolt, Doctor Doppler, Repliforce, Eurasia, Nightmare, Jakob… Giga City! Everything!"
"I know." Zero closed his eyes and turned his head. "But you're stronger than me, X. If anyone can redeem the world, it's you. I want to believe in humankind, just like you do… but I can't help them anymore."
"You can't…" his voice was going hoarse and X's mind was starting to shut down. Life without Zero? X could hardly remember any times before meeting the red-clad Hunter! So many hardships gone through together, so many events weathered… "You… you said it was over… Sigma's gone, you didn't have to fight anymore, it was over and—"
"It will be when I'm gone. Don't be like this, X. It was me who needed you, not the other way around."
~*~
You couldn't have been more wrong.
You walked out on me that night, just turned away and left me with those words that made me cold inside. By the time I could collect myself to move, and I raced after you, it was too late. Instead of waiting for tomorrow, like you told me, you went right to the laboratory and sealed yourself away. You left me with bitterness between us, and I don't know if I'll ever forgive you for it. I tried to break that capsule, I screamed your name and all you did was open your eyes and look at me as if this were no big deal. Like retiring for the night… like you didn't care anymore.
And when they covered you from my eyes I felt as if I was falling apart. Out of all the people I trusted, the people I wanted to protect, you were the one I looked up to. You always protected me, had my back, had my full and explicit trust… and now you left me. Voluntarily.
Suddenly the support I leaned on, I always had, was gone. You were gone and I was back to how I was before… alone. Did you honestly think Axl or the others could withstand the same with me like you did?
You're a fool, Zero… and yet I can't hate you.
I was left to fix the world—you shoved all that responsibility in my face. I had to pick up the pieces of what was left after Sigma and Weil, and somehow put them all together on my own. I was elevated to being a hero, to being the true legend people freaked out over.
I was all by myself, having to deal with the bullshit day in and day out. I had to uphold the public image I didn't have behind closed doors, and each minute made me wonder why I hadn't started hating you yet.
Days went by, weeks went by, months went by, years went by, and I had to face reality to the fact you were a true, but honest bastard. You were going to sleep forever, safe in your dreams and let me live this hell of trying to maintain a peace that threatened to shatter in my trembling hands. I wanted to bring this utopia… I built Neo Arcadia. I ruled Neo Arcadia and Reploids and humans were happy… but there was something underneath the surface I couldn't stop.
If you were here you could help me. But you left. You bastard… you selfish, selfish bastard.
I did what I always dreamed, and yet each day brought new hardships that were becoming too much to handle. I wanted to bring the peace, yes, but I wanted to enjoy it too. I didn't want to sit on a throne and play the king people wanted. I just wanted to sit in a field and watch the clouds go by and breathe fresh air, then go to sleep with a smile. Probably after calling you and seeing how you were doing.
But you're being buried by the years and I'm still sitting on my ass, wondering why I have to deal with this. Why even if my dream had come true I'm still so unhappy…
Time goes by and the Dark Elf stirs. The very thing you used to help win the Elf Wars, and even without you here she's about to cause trouble. If you were awake, I'd rub it in your face and scream 'told you so.'
We caught her, no thanks to you of course. Caught her and locked her up until we could figure out what Weil did to her… and until then she remains a prisoner in my closet of skeletons. She's dangerous and powerful, and I couldn't watch Neo Arcadia and deal with a rogue ball of pure, raw energy.
That's when I met Ciel; a child genius, the first person to ever be able to analyze my data without it trying to kill all the computers in the city. From me we made the Four Guardians… well, from my data and memories of people.
I made Harpuia a bit like you. As pathetic as that sounds I needed someone with that cool-headedness, that level personality. Plus you never left much of a… I guess a real legacy. Even if I should hate you, I don't, and I had hoped Harpuia would make you proud. During his construction, I talked extensively about you to Ciel. Made you sound like the hero you really are, despite what you thought. I did omit the detail of you ditching me and the others, but that's because I'm just a bitter, crotchy old asshole nowadays.
But even in her prison, even with my Guardians watching the city for me when I needed them, the Dark Elf still caused fear and panic. The people, the humans and Reploids finally peacefully co-existing, whispered of a new start to the Elf Wars because of that bitch of a cursed program.
There was only one option; there was only one person who could hold her back. It was finally my turn to face the tube and sleep away the days. But damn you and damn me, I couldn't just leave Neo Arcadia without a leader. It had become far too dependent on me, just like I had on you.
So I asked for Ciel's help one last time. I asked her to completely copy me—body, programming, everything to be copied so I could both still be here for Neo Arcadia and seal the Dark Elf. In retrospect it was the perfect plan. Hindsight twenty-twenty, it wasn't though.
When my copy was created and he was stable, I immediately set out to the Dark Elf's prison and used the awesome power I supposedly had in my body to complete the seal. As my systems put themselves on standby, and I felt more and more drowsy, I couldn't help but be afraid. Sleeping indefinitely was like death, and unlike you, I never died before. At the same time, I wished you were here to be the last thing I saw, like I was for you.
I still didn't hate you, even when my eyes closed and I lost my body.
Turns out you can make yourself a Cyber Elf if you're that desperate to be awake. I learned that pretty quickly when worry for my city gnawed at my dreams, until I started to have nightmares of it. Unfortunately, it's a growing process, and the best I could do when I assumed the form was 'see' through other machinery, such as cameras or even other Reploids. At first it seemed like my copy was doing my job remarkably well… almost better than me. My Guardians couldn't even tell the difference.
But as time went on like it usually does, and I was starting to be able to manifest on the physical plane as a Cyber Elf, things started to take a darker turn. My copy had never undergone the years of testing as I did, before the Maverick Wars. His logic processor wasn't so thoroughly tested, and in essence, he was just a baby. I guess it was my fault, throwing him onto the seat of power so quickly, and all I could do was watch in horror as my good intention became an insane tyrant.
I was powerless at the time, still more or less limited to other machines for mobility. I could only watch in horror as Copy X tore my peace, my hard work, into tiny little pieces that would never fit perfectly together again. Innocent Reploids were accused of being Maverick and killed, humans left to tremble and wonder when they were next. My name, my legacy, sundered and sullied. All I could do was watch as Ciel fled Neo Arcadia; only silently cheer as she built the Resistance.
And I could only barely hold back tears when she found that old lab… and found you.
Of all people, of all beings in the universe, you were our hope. I knew it, Ciel knew it, and the world knew it… the ancient hero, who once was always at my side… Zero, the Legendary Hunter, thought to have vanished decades ago. She woke you up, she broke my promise to leave you be and you were fully repaired and once again in the world.
Then you had the audacity to say you don't remember a thing!
I was watching through the eyes of those drones you shot down. Moments before their fiery, painful end I saw you in all your blazing, righteous glory as you carved a path using a buster pistol of all things. I was torn, although I'd hate to admit it. Should I help you, or leave you to fend for yourself like you did me?
I'm too much of a nice guy in the end.
I helped you out. I should have let you get beaten up more, but damn it all, I hate seeing you hurt. Could you believe it, if you cared to remember, I had your saber with me still? In the end, that old antique saved your ass, saved Ciel's ass, and ended up saving all sorts of asses as you did the nice guy routine too and helped the Resistance. As you struggled with trying to remember—and I meant it when I say I felt sorry for you… really, I do—you struggled against what you thought was me.
How ironic, looking back. Even as I encouraged you to rip that copy bitch's limbs off, I found myself remembering our days. Old days, back when it was supposedly our destiny to destroy each other. Does killing my copy fulfill your destiny? Do you feel better? Although really, I could say you killed me over a hundred years ago when you up and left me when you told me you wouldn't.
Since you disappeared I've been fighting this war alone against an uncountable number of Mavericks for nearly a hundred years… Battle after battle… so painful and so sad… But the hardest part was when I discovered that I no longer cared about fighting enemies.
As I watch you destroy that tyrannical copy and make your near suicidal escape, I couldn't help myself but whisper these words to you. To somehow stir more memories within you, bring them up to the forefront. Deep down, they were things I needed to tell you, that I needed you to know.
And I wanted to know if you regretted your choice at all. I wanted to see you fill yourself with remorse, if just for a moment, over the fact you made me do all of this by myself. I wanted, for once, to see you really beat yourself up, to be tormented.
I leave this world to you, I had said to your prone form in that desert, Please allow me to rest in peace for a while.
And as you were coming to, and I saw that flicker of regret on your face, I stupidly felt selfish. I'm sorry, Zero. I may, or may not, have meant it.
Before I took my leave of you completely for a while, I watched, invisible to your eyes, as you jumped to your knees. You stared at where my weakly projected image was, your eyes so different yet familiar.
"… So be it… But that's why we are the best partners…"
Through the lens of those that surrounded you I watched as you stood to your full, graceful height. Hearing you mutter, not sure how to react to those words you dared to speak…
"I'll do what you want… Rest for a while. I will handle it, you can count on me. I won't stop!" you drew your saber, pointing it at, ironically, the drone I was looking through. "When an enemy appears…"
You dashed, slicing him in half. I jumped to another drone just as you turned to it. "I'll terminate it…"
The only reaction I had was to have the drone pull the trigger on you before I disappeared into cyberspace.
I was starting to hate the fact I was unable to hate you… and really hate the fact I was finding myself forgiving you. //