Dreaming
A soft touch, easily compared to the brush of butterfly wings or a gentle breeze, grazed his cheek. His eyes slowly opened, greeted by a vibrantly dying sun and an even more brilliant smile. Stars already began to stud the sky, but they failed to shimmer more than the form standing over him. Effervescent, evanescent, ephemeral… so many poetic words, each one so pretty, each one stabbing him in the heart til he felt as if he were going to bleed forever.
And yet the pain was dull, a throb for sure, but completely manageable in the presence of that smile, those eyes. A peace he never knew existed, could exist, until those eyes were almost shyly placed on him. The looks were soothing on their own, as imaginary as they were, and he felt the urge to be selfish and grab onto that peace, keep it for himself.
Still groggy from his sleep, he couldn’t quite register what was happening except for the hazy appearance that seemed to encompass his surroundings. Was twilight always this ethereal, or was it the form kneeling beside him truly had him so captivated he couldn’t see beyond it? He had to question the reality of the moment, wondering if it were a passing fantasy he would soon be rudely awoken from.
There was no crushing presence of the real world when that embodiment of peace laid next to him. So light, hardly noticeable, yet he felt as if his heart would burst in a sort of calm happiness that was both exhilarating and relaxing. The dream shifted closer, resting on him, head on his chest over his heart… could this beautiful vision feel how fast it pulsed? Hear it thundering like he did, a raging storm within and yet, he remained so calm and at peace…
He hadn’t realized he had spoken until the one on top of him chuckled, “Is that so?”
What had he said? “What?”
“You said, ‘I love it when you look at me.’ I’m asking, is that so? I didn’t think you had a preference of where I put my eyes, Zero.”
For some reason, being called his name broke the dream a little, and the ethereality faded just a bit. The scene became much clearer, sharper, now that he had a name again. Zero sighed, but he clung to the peace, because out of everyone, he felt like he needed it the most. He sat up slightly, resting on his elbows as he tilted his head back to stare at the darkening sky.
“I won’t deny saying that,” Zero finally mumbled, a little embarrassed. “Something about it puts me at ease… hell.” He looked down. “Being near you puts me at ease, X.”
A little bit more of the dream seemed to break away now that the vision had a name, also. Reality had a way of taking things apart. X looked up at him from his resting place on top of Zero, and although the feeling of dreaming was rapidly fading, the mysterious wonder of X’s smile and eyes remained. It gave Zero a piece of the dream, a piece he locked away within himself.
“I’m glad,” X murmured, the sudden drop in volume oddly matching the advent of night. “You’ve been under a lot of stress…”
“That’s an understatement.” Zero didn’t lower his voice, and it shattered the moment, the remains of the dream. Reality was in full swing, and he was back in the war.
But X had a thread on him, tied to that peaceful feeling. “Tell me what you’re thinking,” he said, still quiet, still lovely. “What you’re feeling. Share with me.”
Zero wanted to laugh, scoff, but he couldn’t do that to X. Instead he pressed his forehead against X’s, that cool breeze-like feeling that slowly felt like it spread throughout his being. Cool, soothing, it made him close his eyes and he visibly relaxed.
“It’s hard to explain…” Zero muttered, tone finally softening. “These battles, the reason, the people… accepting the fact somehow, I became what I once hunted. I’m a Maverick, yet not, I… I can’t explain it.”
X felt more solid, and Zero opened his eyes to find he had curled up closer, their lips closer. Zero could feel the light pass of what could have been X’s breath; X’s hand cupped his cheek, a feeling so faint it couldn’t be real, but it was flooding Zero like a dominate force.
“If you can’t explain it,” X whispered so low, Zero strained to hear, “than share it with me.”
Zero inhaled deeply, wanting almost to inhale X into his being. He couldn’t do that, so he settled for wrapping his arms around that shimmering form and slowly leaning back down to the ground, pulling X down with him. He whispered something, he wasn’t sure, maybe it was X’s name or maybe it was some heartfelt confession… but the passing of words was lost when he kissed X.
Reality faded away, for just a little while longer, while he embraced the vision of peace. Zero did need it… needed X, needed to express something far greater than this petty existence and fighting. When X responded, returning affection, Zero fully shut out reality in favor of his dream.
It was only for a little while.